By Nawrez Nathem Qarden
In Circassian customs and traditions, those who marry by passing through a gauntlet of warriors brandishing the blades of their swords above their heads have committed reprehensible shameful acts that prohibit them from being married in full honour and glory. This act rarely takes place in Circassian society, but, nevertheless, it happens, and for a very good reason. Military prowess and bravery in battle were perhaps the most respected characteristics in the martial Circassian society. Nevertheless, not all members of society could live up to the high standards imposed by society, and all societies have their fair share of anti-heroes, and these people needed to get on with their lives in one form or another, albeit with some stigma impressed for eternity. The Circassian Xabza (customs and traditions) did not neglect to deal with these under-performers and provide precepts on how they should conduct their affairs in society.
Some of these disgraceful acts include:
• Showing cowardice in battle.
• Losing one’s would-be bride or causing her injury or death during kidnapping/eloping (гъэкIуасэ; ghek’wase).
• Marrying a lady of a lower class. [Circassian society was highly stratified, and it was strictly interdicted for members of the upper classes to marry from the lesser ranks, to preserve “white bone” («къупщхьэ хужь»), the Circassian equivalent of “blue blood” (“noble birth”)]
• Displaying gross bad manners towards the elders or mortally offending them.
• Committing other despicable acts of shame.
The man who commits any of these ignoble “sins” is shunned by the society and is treated as an outcast. The severe Circassian society denies him the right to be associated with the fair gender in marriage the normal way. However, he still has the right to woo widows or spinsters, whose families would normally be reluctant to consider him as a worthy match, but would rather accept him as a husband for their widowed or spinster daughters, rather than leave them without a spouse.
Once the betrothal is agreed upon, the man and his wife have to pass through two confronting rows of Circassian braves raising their swords with the sharp blades downwards forming an inverted V to denote his shame and to indicate that he is not worthy to be treated like a gentleman, but will always bear the stigma of shame.
Although this “gauntlet of shame” is similar in form to “gauntlets of glory” of other societies, it is the complete antithesis in its denotation.
Nawrez Nathem Qarden, a Circassian Jordanian from Amman, has been collecting ethnographic and folkloric materials on the Circassians for many years, of which this is a specimen. He is the elder son of the famous Circassian writer Nathem Qasem Qarden.